Discussion on Interpersonal Relationship
We all have a colleague we hate. Such people have no interpersonal skills usually. They have no idea how to deal with other colleagues and probably they don’t even know how to deal with any other human too. So what is wrong with them? How can they improve their interpersonal relationships? Here are some tips you can give them :
- Be able to define interpersonal skill, and recognize that it involves the use of goal-directed behaviors to achieve desired outcomes: we live in a society where each of us are inter dependent. Basically we can't live alone. If you are a billionaire, you could book the whole plane for yourself and not need to interact with anyone else. You could also book the entire beach and not need to share space with others. You could own everyone in the office and not have to make any adjustment for anyone. Basically most of us aren't billionaires, so we need to in interact, share and adjust with other human beings in order to fulfill our needs to travel, enjoy and make a living.
- Understand the relationship between words spoken and outcomes: The easiest way to screw relationships is to use the wrong words at the wrong time. Say you are amidst ladies staffs, it would be counter productive to say, " Ladies can't perform like men." This would be politically correct , though amidst a bunch of macho men.
- Be aware of how emotions are reflected by body language: someone who slouches, frowns, shakes legs uncontrollably, takes too much physical space, stays too close, always stays aloof, avoids eye contact, yawns freely, rolls eyes , makes grimaces , makes a very companion !
- Be able to distinguish between assertive, non-assertive and aggressive behavior.
- Know how to assess your power and ability to influence others in different Situations: most people over estimate their level of charm and try to influence others. This looks phony. As a result people will say you don't know how to relate with others. So don't be over ridden by over-confidence.
- Recognize the circumstances in which different strategies of effective negotiation may be effective: People use the same techniques to get their way in every situation. Don't bargain the college fees of your child like you do for potatoes with the peddler! Alas many do and we hate them.
- Be able to know what is going on in a group and what kind of action needs to be taken to improve group performance : Being insensitive is a blame we get when we are not able to see below the surface. May be telling one staff is better than his coworker will not improve performance of either. May be scolding in private will cause more conflict in the group. So learn to read between lines.
- Control your ego: Interpersonal relationship degrade mainly because of ego. We are too proud to admit mistakes and to apologize. Once you can drop your ego, everyone seems to be much nicer. Don’t let ego on the way of harmonious relationships.
- Don’t take it personally: conflict arise unnecessarily because we take complaints made towards the establishment as though to oneself. We may hate a position a person is in but it doesn’t mean we hate the person assuming that position. As far as possible try to avoid taking insults personally. Think they are directed to the company or the title you are holding.
If you follow at least few of these techniques, we guarantee that you will not be the name people will mention when asked, “whos’ the coworker you hate the most because he or she has very poor interpersonal skills.” - Mr. Mohan Ojha & Manohar Man Shrestha
"Authers are Associated with Growth Sellers as MD and HR consultant respectively"